Lowdown on ALL the Presidential Candidates.

Anyone who tells you that News can't be reported in one month chunks needs to spend some time at the pool and stop living their life like the bonus round of Jet Salom. Political News especially is just the same old gags dressed up with new names and faces. If you've read Thucydides or Homer you'll know: not much has changed in the past 3,000 years. Still, it is important to maintain the habit of interest and involvement, lest someday, being habituated to carelessness, we allow some great opportunity to pass us by.

One of the few things in Politics that nearly a majority of Americans care about is who will be the next President of the United States. Perhaps this anomaly of interest is explained by the American proclivity for amusement in all manner of pageants; from American Idol to Ms. Universe to the Presidency.

Upon reviewing the lineup, these things I know:

Joe Biden is even more petty and nitpicky than Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton has more politics in her veins than blood.

John Edwards is the third Rock Star vying for the single Democratic nomination.

Mike Huckabee like' sophistree, an' his proficiency there-in evident-in his sharply gains among the polls.

Rudy Guiliani was knighted by the Queen of England...England, the country we fought so fiercely to be free of in 1776...President, a Knight! I'll eat my hat! ... Oh, and don't you think it is unfortunate that he is capitalizing on the deaths of 3,000 Americans?

John McCain may have gotten the White House confused with the Margaret E. White House for Elderly Persons when he announced his candidacy.

Barack Obama is just as visionary as he looks in this picture, but doesn't even have the balls to say "ass" in front of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee: "...we are, as stated before, kicking A-S-S" ~ Senator Obama (09-11-07)

Ron Paul sends me really boring emails, but people keep telling me he is actually cool.

Bill Richardson has enough spunk to make an ad in which he is at a "Job Interview" for the Presidency. Also he is our Governor.

Mitt Romney is a Mormon, probably has some sort of plan for Iraq, is a Mormon, and aside from all that, he is a Mormon.

Fred Thompson has an intricate understanding of the reality of our legal system from his work Law & Order, but hell, we might get a good speech or two out of him.

Albert Einstein is the smartest man who ever lived, and he was right when he said, "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were when we created them."

Unfortunately, Albert Einstein is not running in this election. Instead, we must take our chances with the latest bunch of preeminant political hacks. But that's just id; the significant problems we face were created by political hacks and at their level of thinking. How then can any politico save us?

So it seems there will be little innovation to American politics next year. And thank God: for dramatic change is not befitting of government, although it is constantly touted in the rhetoric thereof. Government should remain constant, and it is the People's perogative to be flexible until the Government prevents them from bending in the direction they wish to pursue, and they are at last compelled to stand up and demand change. This is the most exciting moment in Politics, the moment every presidential-hopeful dreams of spearheading. Real change, however, is slow and subtle. Real change cannot be affected in four years. And the structure and stability of our Government relies upon this fact, lest some tyrant succeed in changing the world "for the better". This need for stability may explain why the forerunner in any election remains Prevailing Apathy.

Prevailing Apathy relies on our comfort and complacency and lack of real knowledge to maintain a system of government that does not consistently and deliberately strive to serve its constituents. Prevailing Apathy allows our great country to be run into the ground and embarrassed in front of the people of the world. Prevailing Apathy is our best defense against the upstart and overambitious politicians.

And so, with such a dominant and persuasive candidate controlling this election, why should we even bother getting out of bed that fateful day next November? Because, even though every candidate running is fundamentally the same, there is one interesting and subtle element of real change: an element that might go unnoticed until the last paragraph of my long-winded post: the one thing that might make this election worthwhile: the one iota of evidence that social change is in fact occurring. This year, a black man and a woman are running. And this year, they both have a chance.

Vive le Republique!